Honduran Gyno

So, apparently my roommate has been having some weird symptoms, you know, down there. This information had not been shared with me, but yesterday morning she lost it. She was crying and couldn't hold herself together, which is understandable considering she is in Honduras, far, far way from her doctor, and experiencing symptoms that no woman ever wants to experience, especially in a third world country.

So she talks to our boss who talks to one of the Honduran teachers who happens to be good friends with a gynocologist who agrees to see her. So we're on our way to Tegus. Now, I say "we" because I have been elected to accompany her because 1. I'm a woman, 2. I speak Spanish, and 3. I can drive the truck (which has a manual transmission). Now, my roommate and I are friends, but we're not super close, and we've never had conversations about, well, down there. So on the way we discuss her symptoms and what it may be and talk about friends who've had similar experiences and stuff like that. We become closer than we've been before because, well, she knows what the gyno is going to ask her and she knows that I have to translate.

Fortunately we arrive at the hospital (which was quite a surprise given the directions that John and Walter tried to give me), and we made it on time (always a surprise in Honduras). We make our way up to the fourth floor (by the stairs--we both have a fear of elevators, especially in Honduras), and we find the office. Room 420. We're not sure what to do, so we ask a lady at a nearby desk and she tells us to knock. No answer. So we wait and take in our surroundings. Now, Hospital Viera, we've been told, is the oldest hospital in Tegucigalpa, a distinction that is clearly represented in the furniture. It's older than me, and seems to have been purchased during a very unfashionable period in the 70s (my roommate says 50s). Not too comforting. The nurses (or the women we think are nurses) are wearing jeans and tee shirts and heels. Also not comforting. Fortunately for us, the doctor arrives and she is very nice and very professional looking and we both feel much better. That is until she has to actually examine my roommate.

So, I ask, what IS the protocol when you're in the room with your not-too-close friend who is getting a vaginal exam behind a bookshelf four feet away from you? Do you talk? Do you not talk? Do you crack a joke? I read a book. Then I got hungry, though, so I started to take my Chex Mix out of my purse. Probably not the best idea. Then I hear the doctor ask, "Duele?" and I wonder why my roommate isn't answering. Ah, she doesn't speak Spanish! So I translate, "Does it hurt?" "Yes." "Si," I respond quickly, trying to jump back into my translator role.

So anyway, to make a long story even longer, my roommate only had a urinary tract infection, which made everyone feel better. But we are much, much closer now. Oh, and if you're ever in the same situation, leave the Chex Mix at home.... Less temptation.